You wanna know why? I'll tell you why.

So...I have been avoiding this specific situation for a long time. Ever since I moved back home, I have generally avoided most of the church members in the area. Since I don't want to be saved or be a project, I thought it would be best for everyone involved to just not go there. Well, some old friends invited me specifically to a Christmas party, and my parents assumed that I wouldn't be interested. They still told me about it, and after some thought, I decided to go. The majority of the individuals there were people that I grew up with, that I loved, respected and looked up to. It seemed to make sense at the time to go.

My parents and I went together, and when they saw what I was wearing, they freaked out. Apparently, my shirt was "just too much action since the crowd is older, they're just not used to seeing that kind of thing." Give me a break. I don't hang out of anything, a) because I don't think a b-cup could really 'hang' out, and b) I just don't wear clothes like that. Sure, it is a v-neck top, but I had a tank underneath it, and everything was tasteful. My mother brought out a cable-knit, crew neck sweater for me to wear instead. Thanks guys. Glad to know you appreciate your daughter for who she is.

At first, the party was great! I was able to catch up with so many people from my past, the ones who still loved me when I was an annoying teenager. But...Nothing gets me down more than a conservative, closed-minded asshole. I was apprehensive of the Mormon party because of people like this, and this time, I was totally right. Everything was great until the white elephant gift exchange. Naturally, I got picked last, and the present that was left were a buch of these ads that Mormons have put together for their youth. I included a couple of examples:





Everybody laughed, including me. Just my luck, the only non-Mormon in the room gets the MormonAds. Then, some dude I don't even know decides to say this, "Hey, look how things work out so well. The person that needs these the most got them!" Ok, man. I took it in stride. I was able to laugh about it, but why do you have to go on making comments about it? Then, when people were switching gifts, he kept on saying, "Hey. Don't take those from her. She needs them!" Just shut the fuck up, won't you? Because it was only funny when EVERYONE ELSE WAS LAUGHING.

When it was my turn to switch, I picked a lampshade. The largest lampshade I have ever seen. Not to be outdone, captain dipshit had something to say about that too. "Hey, I wanna see you out at New Years wearing that lampshade on your head while you're PARTYING!!" "New Years eve, you'll be PARTYING it up with that lampshade on your head!" Again, no one's laughing so SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH.

Why does this make me so angry? I'll tell you why. Don't assume you know anything about me because you know one measly fact about my religious status. So I'm not Mormon. That must mean I need help guidance from an ad campaign your religion started for your promiscuous, bratty teenagers. And that also must mean that I "party hard", and need lampshades to make drunken escapades that much more spectacular. Really. Thanks for the vote of confidence. You really have me pegged.

So that's why I generally stay away from Mormons and their activities. Because unless I know them personally, most Mormons usually PISS ME OFF.

I like, I like!

The first day of classes areu usually boring. Not for me. A teacher in my class was describing his wife and said, "Don't get me wrong, she's a nice lady, but she could go bear hunting with a switch."

Frankly, I wouldn't mind that if someone described me in that way someday. How badass is that?

I was also on the phone with a new suitor last night. When he asked how tall I am, I answered, "I'm five feet three inches of greatness." I know, I know. Sometimes I should turn the charm off. Just a little bit.

Now I'm getting political on your a$$

A summer full of a retarded schedule must equal to no blogging. I was about to write that I was unsure of why, but I think I know. For some reason, I have been in this weird depressed state over the summer, and I am trying to work through it. I think I wanted to work through it alone, and it has been working. Here's to progress.

So, I have some comments for the summer. First, I have decided that I need a May break, and an August break. I am exhausted, and school starts next week. The one good thing about it is that a) That means my fitness schedule increases so I can quit the crappy job I had and b) I will be on more of a set schedule so *maybe* I won't be so damn tired all the time? We'll see. I also backed off on some of my teaching, so I will be teaching about 15 hours per week instead of 20. I think that will help.

This semester will be really busy, but I am taking a lot of classes I am excited about, particularly biomechanics, the physiology of exercise, and Spanish. I hope that my reduced teaching schedule will leave more room for studying. We'll see how that pans out, since I'm such a lazy little bitch. ;)

My Olympic feevah is slowly subsiding. I want to keep Shawn Johnson in my pocket and let her out when I'm sad. Flip, Shawn! Flip! That would make me very happy. At the end of the day, it would be great to have her in the house, you know? You come home from a hard day's work, and she's there to flip and jump and twirl...anyway, enought about gymnastics. I would also like to marry Aaron Piersol. Backstroke to me, baby! So ladies, you can have Michael Phelps. I will take the backstroker any day.

Um, hi, Aaron. Um...are you wearing any pants? Well, they're really not necessary perse, I'm just asking:


But for real, I have promised myself that I will keep my options open with dating, and will try to not be such a scaredy cat. Ever since a BAD, BAD breakup last summer, I've been pretty closed off to opportunities and have exclusively tried to date guys that live out of town. I just need to get over it and be happy with me, and what I might find right in my own back yard. (But Aaron Piersol is a dandy alternative...even if it is a fantasy!)

Finally, to the theme of this post. I have finally gotten involved in politics a bit. For the first time in my life, I voted in the primary election. Even though my pick was not the ultimate winner (Hillary), I am still pleased with the result. Honestly, I was torn between the two, and my ultimate choice came down to health care. It seemed to me that Hillary's plan had a better chance of actual action compared to Barack's, but I am still hopeful for change. During my adult life, I have spent the majority of it uninsured, yet gainfully employed. I am tired of working my butt off while the unemployed individuals get coverage, and I don't get coverage because I'm not "poor enough".

I am also extremely frustrated with John McCain's choice of VP. Actually, I'm less frustrated and more annoyed and offended than anything. To me, it's like saying, "Hey ladies, you didn't get Hillary. Of course you were just voting for her because she's got a vagina, so here's a vagina for you to vote for. You don't really care about the politics anyway, now do you? Get back in the kitchen, and vote for your fellow woman come November." So, yeah, that was a little sarcastic, but really? Oooh, she's breaking the glass ceiling, but watch out. She will take away all of your rights of choice while she's at it. She will get all the glory, and if she has her way, your sisters, nieces, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, and every other woman that might be affected by a violent sexual crime will not have a choice if they happen to conceive. That's right I said it. Let's set aside general choice. Let's talk about instances of rape, incest and endangerment to the mother and/or fetus. If Sarah Pallin has her way, women in America will not have a choice in those situations. That is not okay with me, nor is is okay with anyone I know.

This woman removes choice from the equation, and refuses to acknowledge extreme circumstances:


Do you agree? Disagree? I promise to not be a sarcastic bitch if we talk about it.

I'd better run. Before I offend anyone else. Honestly, though, I have been keeping up with just about everyone this summer. Eliza, congrats on baby Weston! Jackie, congrats on the house! Katie, I can't believe your little man is walking! Post a video already! Mel, congrats on hanging with Neil Diamond (well, almost--he looked just like him anyway)! And April, your kids are just adorable.

We'll see if I can keep this up. I've got no guarantee for ya.

My favorite song

Right now, this is my favorite song. I ADORE it. Listen to the words, and pretend he's singing about you. Making you feel very amazing.

Long time, no see!

Whew! What a crazy few months this has been. 2008 has brought so much to me, and I am truly lucky to have all that I have, despite all the ups and downs. I've been home from Hawaii for a week now, and even though I'm no longer in paradise, I'm glad to be back. But, check these out!

Beautiful flowers:



Exotic beaches:



Amazing food:



Amazing drinks:



Amazing adventures (Check out the North Shore SKYDIVING view!):



Palm trees:



And finally...North Shore chickens!!



When I left Hawaii the first time, I felt like I left so much behind. This time, I feel that even though I'm no longer in paradise, I came back whole, happy and ready to continue with my life just as it is.

It was a struggle to get through the end of the semester, but it all ended on a positive note, and I am excited for a break. It feels like I could sleep for a long time! I'm lucky that I have some time to do that this summer, although I'm still working quite a bit. And...working on the tan I acquired while in Hawaii might be in the mix a little too!;) I hope you enjoy the pictures!

Oops! I got tagged.

Katie tagged me! So I must oblige...

A - Attached or single? Eh, single. See last post. I'm feeling better, though. Time heals all wounds, for sure.
B - Best friend? My sis Nicole. Plus I have a lot of really awesome close friends all over the place!
C - Cake or pie? That's a mean question. Don't make me pick ONE! I'll take both and work out extra hard later. :)
D - Day of choice? Any day I get to Zumba or rock climb; even better, how about both?
E - Essential item? Chapstick. Food. Workout shoes.
F - Favorite color? Green, purple, red.
G - Gummy bears or worms? Bears. I like biting their heads off first! Muahahahahaha!
H - Hometown? La Crosse, WI
I - Indulgences? Travel, good food, workout gear.
J - January or July? July, unless it's January somewhere tropical. ;)
K - Kids? Goodness, no!
L - Life isn't complete without? Family, all my pals, working out.
M - Marriage date? NO THANK YOU.
N - Number of brothers and sisters? Two of the best sisters ever!
O - Oranges or apples? Fruit salad!
P - Phobias or fears? Fear of falling, being alone forever.
Q - Quote? Courage doesn't always roar, sometimes it is the quiet assurance that you will try again tomorrow.
R - Reason to smile? So many reasons! Good family and friends, an awesome career path...
S - Season of choice? Summer, and it's almost heeeeeeeere!!
T - Tag six: Do I even have six friends? :D Whoever would like to reply I guess.
U - Unknown fact about me? I'm pretty much an open book. Um...one of the reasons why I teach at the jail is so the inmates can teach me hip hop! :D
V - Vegetable? Anything that my mom makes.
W - Worst habit? Being cluttered.
X - X-ray or ultrasound? Never had an ultrasound...
Y - Your favorite food? I'd probably have to say Mexican, or Sushi.
Z - Zodiac sign? Crabby little Cancer. ;)

Breaking up...

...is hard to do. It is hard to not take things personally. It is tough understanding that this person you care about so much just doesn't feel the same way. I don't know how much hope I have left for relationships, but I'm trying. Today, I have so many things to do, and all I want to do is sit in bed and watch 'The Sweetest Thing'. Over, and over again.

Grateful

The sun is shining, and it's time to accentuate the positive: let's talk about some things I've been thankful for lately.

1. Crazy friends that will travel thousands of miles with me to walk around aimlessly in a city they have never been to. Luckily for me, it was San Diego, so there was plenty to do. And plenty to eat.

2. People that speak intentionally with awkward voices and noises. This especially works when you speak LOUDLY.

3. Parents that make me lunch every day.

4. A boyfriend that says, "Stay in bed while I make breakfast."

5. People that I have only met a time or two taking the time to see me when I'm generally in their neck of the woods...only an hour away. Three times in one week.

6. Randomness in drive-thrus at 2am. Yelling, "I love you!" so many times that the drive through attendant says, "I love you too." comes to mind.

Have a happy day!

Pay it forward...

With all the hustle and bustle of life that I experience (just like everybody else), sometimes it's easy to forget about the little things that matter. I have been teaching so much that I have forgotten those little things.

I have people that attend my classes for me, not for anybody else. I hope that someday, they go for themselves, but it is so humbling that they are so dedicated to the way that I teach. I have realized that when I teach, my problems go away for a little while. That feels so nice.

Despite our differences, my parents are so supportive. One of my sisters is having some serious problems with her in-laws, and it has made me realize how important it is to have loyal parents. Not everyone has that advantage.

And despite the enormous headache it is, I have the opportunity to be back in school to pursue a dream I didn't realize I had until a few months ago. I am SO TIRED. But after this semester, I only have 2 left, then it's on to my internship. There will be a summer in there for some rest, and I think that will help a lot.

After feeling down for the past couple of months, I just don't feel like I have the right to continue to feel bad about my life. I may not be sure where I am going, but I certainly have the tools to succeed wherever I end up!

Better

Not all the way of course, but I'm feeling much better. I had a good, long talk with my counselor today and we are working on a few things to get me in the healthy mindset I need to be with relationships. Somehow, some way, I will be able to fill that void I feel, and I will fill it myself. Right now, it seems like a daunting task, but I trust that I will be able to do it. I've come a long way.

Spring break is approaching and I am so excited! I am glad that I will be spending time with my good pal, instead of the boyfriend. It's just too soon for that, but we were thinking about going on a trip...I will have to save that for another time.

On a lighter note, I was able to work in RICHARD SIMMONS and CHUCK NORRIS into a speech I did today. Boy, am I good at public speaking! I hope your day is half as good as his, because you know no one is quite as happy as Richard Simmons.

Lonely

Don't you hate it when you realize that something is bothering you...after it has been for a long time? That's how I've been feeling for the past few days.

After my sister's mental breakdown over a year ago, I sought counseling since the circumstances were difficult for me to deal with. The counselor I saw was awesome, and helped me a lot. I guess I thought it was all I needed, and the effects of the situation were over, but I was wrong.

The thing is, I completely lost my best friend. That one person that I could tell anything to, and would feel zero judgment. The one that was always there. Since this whole ordeal, this void has slowly been effecting my relationships with others; I am constanly seeking a replacement and placing people in a position where they don't belong. I had expected everything to get back to normal, but this will effect our relationship for the rest of our lives. The medication she needs to maintain a normal life keeps her emotionally distant, and emotions in general are difficult to express. The vibrance she used to show is quelled, and I understand it is for the best since her lows were just as, or even more extreme.

Now that I udnerstand this, it's hard to figure out where to go next. I am in the process of re-evaluating many of my friendships and a romantic relationship that began a few months ago. You have to begin somewhere, right? Wish me luck. Hopefully I won't cry so much tomorrow. (It doesn't help that I'm PMSing rigt now either!)

I know this is a generally sad post, but I felt a need to get things out. I'm okay, believe me. Just a little stressed and emotional...sounds like a busy student! :p

Advice...

I'm going to So. Cal. with one of my good friends for spring break. She's never been to Cali, and I was wondering what you would reccommend we see. We don't have many days there, so I'm just trying to get her the highlights. I was thinking Venice beach, Pacific beach, definitely a drive up/down the coast on Highway 1. She wants to see the sunset strip, but that's the only request. Since this his her first trip, I want to make sure it's awesome...so friends...help me out and give me suggestions! What's your favorite thing to do in So. Cal.?

I'd put a visit to "The Price is Right", but I don't care for Drew Carey and his Republican, gun toting views. I wish Bob Barker would still be there, so I could try and make out with an old man. :P

Once upon a time...

...I wrote a blog and it was fun. Life has been hectic, and I am full of excuses.

A lot has been happening lately, including the start of a new semester, and it seems harder and harder to acclimatize, especially in the winter. Here in the heartland, we have experienced the hardest winter just about ever. It started early, and is still in full swing with sub-zero temperatures and tons of snow. At least the sun came out today. I thought I just might die on Monday, it had been so long since I had seen sunshine. I have also had to really adjust my attitude since it was getting me down. It's time to look on the bright side of life!

So here are some things that make me smile/get excited:

My roommate's note on our electric bill (in red sharpie marker): I HATE XCEL ENERGY AND ALL OF THEIR REPUBLICAN FREINDS!!

Eating Valentine's Day truffles

Receiving Valentines vial snail mail from pals

Eating Taco Bell

Pancakes with peanut butter AND maple syrup on top (if you haven't tried this, then you're missing out. It's absolutely sinful)

Jim Gaffigan and his musings on Bacon and Hot Pockets

These are just a few. More to come! I hope everyone is having a sunshine day! :D