Finally my patience has paid off. There is closure and a friendship remains with my now ex-boyfriend. We had a long talk yesterday, and it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be.
I care about him a lot. The only guarantees we gave to each other is that we will be friends; the best friends we can be to each other. I hope he is able to take the time to figure out who he is and appreciate all the things about him that make him unique. The best part about last night, I think is that he was really apologetic about how he dealt with everything. He knows he hurt my feelings a lot, and is very sorry.
This whole process has helped me figure out how to deal with relationships in a different way. In the past, I have usually (by usually, I mean ALWAYS) taken things too personally and overreacted. Boy, was I good a overreacting. Through it all, this time I have decided to only change the things I can, and accept the things I can't change. There is no way around this break-up, and I have two choices: chalk up the time we had together as a waste and loose a friend, or set aside my pride and keep a friend. I choose the latter.
I think that friendship will be a little more awkward than I think it will be, at least at first. I gave him a big hug when he left last night and, I don't know...part of me wanted to keep on hugging him. I've definitely got to work on that, for several reasons. I can't put my life on hold for him. I don't know how long this process will take. I don't know what he will want in the future; I may not be a part of it more than as a friend. And, I'm already hanging out with other people, and it wouldn't be fair to them if I'm still emotionally attached to my ex. I think it's about establishing new habits. We'll see how I do with that. I know I must be consistent.
On a bittersweet note, one of my friends got in a car accident yesterday. Luckily she wasn't hurt, but financially she will be strapped for a while. That sucks! What was positive about the whole thing is that she had a bunch of people over, and we had a fantastic time. You know that guy I hung out with before? Yeah, I mentioned him...it was another long, long evening. We watched the best movie of all time...Dumb and Dumber. And the evening wasn't quite as tame as last week... ;) And now I have every right to do exactly what I did last night! Ha!
What can I say...I tend to have post breakup extravaganzas. First was the go-out-and-party-with-my-girls post breakup extravaganza, then the workout post breakup extravaganza, and now up, the make-out-with-cute-boys-that-give-me-back rubs post breakup extravaganza...what's next? Who knows? The one guarantee I have for you is it WILL be interesting!