Monday, July 23, 2007

Compulsive

I think I'm a compulsive eater. I want to eat all the time. And it's not just one thing, like ice cream. I want burgers. French fries. Taco Bell. Brownies. Ice Cream. The works.

There are things that I don't enjoy eating, like donuts. I'm just not much of a fan anymore. After working in an office environment for about 4 years, I've had my fill and will pretty much always say no. But I can't say no to a chili dog. With cheese.

So I compulsively exercise to make up for the eating. Especially now that I've gotten into biking, I work out for several hours at a time. It's my job too. I've been working on my schedule for the fall, and find that I will be teaching at least three hours of fitness classes per day. Some are one right after the other.

I guess the thing that is running through my mind at the moment is, "Is this behavior healthy?" I eat everything I want and do not limit myself. But I work it off and sometimes, then some. The more I work out, the more I want to eat, weather it's my mom's super healthy food or a pizza. The whole "calories in--calories out" mantra of weight loss is working for me, but am I doing it in a healthy way? It makes me wonder sometimes.

I think about some of my friends that are struggling with weight loss, and I wonder, is it fair? What am I doing that sets me apart? Because I don't struggle with my weight, and even if I compulsively eat, my body doesn't show it. How many people will be frustrated and pissed when they find out I'm a size 4 and eat whatever the hell I want? I guess I'd just have to remind them the hours I work out. The many, many hours of me sweating on that bike, and in front of at least 50 people per day, teaching them how to battle the bulge.

As a fitness professional, am I setting a good example?

1 comment:

PotatoJack said...

size four?! i think i just totally skipped that size growing up. I know i wouldn't have as BIG of a weight problem if i just wasn't so darn lazy! :)